DnD

Fire BALL

I think fireball, the spell, should get stronger the more often characters cast it. Neglect that useless messaging of casting it less. Make it grow unnaturally. Unleash the hydra.

The Duel

Suppose you had to pick a muppet to fight to the death, but the muppet got to pick the contest.

So you might choose Animal, but Animal could then pick ‘cocaine’ as the contest and you would die.

I don’t know who I would go for. Maybe Fozzy? Like, he’s a bear but a little one.

Milton

The problem with Paradise Lost is that the devil asks people to eat apples, and we don’t relate to that as a temptation. Your doctor asks you to eat more apples. You say no.

If the serpent showed up and told Eve she’d look amazing in racing leathers forever and Adam about supercharged liter bikes, there would be falls from grace.

Especially if the bike had a 310 rear tire.

Now, I understand. A 310 rear is functionally unnecessary on a sport bike. Don’t do it, right?

You just reenacted Adam’s internal monologue before the fall.

Celsius

The problem with Celsius as an energy drink is the flavors are too mild. Monster has flavors like Battery Acid and Actual F’king Leprosy, while Celsius has Insinuation of Kiwi and Tangerine Memories.