My next project is live!

Sweet Sarah Kowalski
A Short Story
by John Doe

Sarah Kowalski had always loved sleepy Falmouth with its vigilant, vacant volcanoes. It was a place where she felt angry.

She was a sweet, stupid, tea drinker with scrawny eyes and moist fingers. Her friends saw her as a grieving, gentle god. Once, she had even brought a wrong old lady back from the brink of death. That’s the sort of woman he was.

Sarah walked over to the window and reflected on her quiet surroundings. The drizzle rained like sleeping puppies.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Roger Vader. Roger was a patient do gooder with squat eyes and moist fingers.

Sarah gulped. She was not prepared for Roger.

As Sarah stepped outside and Roger came closer, she could see the better glint in his eye.

“Look Sarah,” growled Roger, with a clumsy glare that reminded Sarah of patient pigeons. “It’s not that I don’t love you, but I want love. You owe me 9403 gold pieces.”

Sarah looked back, even more angry and still fingering the tiny banana. “Roger, I ate your puppy,” she replied.

They looked at each other with cross feelings, like two gigantic, grisly goldfish dancing at a very popular bar mitzvah, which had flute music playing in the background and two energetic uncles boating to the beat.

Sarah studied Roger’s squat eyes and moist fingers. Eventually, she took a deep breath. “I’m afraid I declared myself bankrupt,” explained Sarah. “You will never get your money.”

“No!” objected Roger. “You lie!”

“I do not!” retorted Sarah. “Now get your squat eyes out of here before I hit you with this tiny banana.”

Roger looked delighted, his wallet raw like a teeny-tiny, thoughtful teapot.

Sarah could actually hear Roger’s wallet shatter into 9403 pieces. Then the patient do gooder hurried away into the distance.

Not even a cup of tea would calm Sarah’s nerves tonight.

I don’t know what my favorite part is.

Is it the Sarah/Roger ship? They have moist fingers.

Or the double power moves?

“Roger, I ate your puppy.”

“I’m afraid I declared myself bankrupt.”
Two thumbs up!

It’s an algorithmic story generator, and I have nothing to do with it. I just love it and shall call him George.

Green Energy

I think they’re going to be able to power the world from the vigorous gyrations of Milton rolling in his grave. Do it for the environment, people.

The Nine

What happened was I had so many ideas I just threw them at the page. This is how I write. I like it. But it means that I have to write a second draft when the ideas are already down, and I couldn’t do that with the Nine because of an update cycle.

I was also in the middle of second/third/…/eighth drafts for Mara, so the Nine was just a fun write. Drafts 2+ become work.

But now there’s a choice. I either ditch the thing or write a second draft.

On the one hand, I’m still pretty annoyed by AO3’s mods. I don’t like the way other people can work with my published stuff but I can’t. Who the hell are you to tell me I can’t write with my own characters while other people can? AO3, frunk yourselves.

The other hand is I invested a lot of myself in writing the stupid thing, the ideas are cool, and I just hate leaving things like that unfinished.

There’s a third hand (Corwin, come here. Hold out your hand) holding grad school, a job, and other books to write. Hector and the Fairy Godbear! Death Mountain! A dissertation!

So, IRL, I can’t just be doing whatever. I’ve only got so much time.

I dunno.


Good word. Similar to a massif, but formed of individual plutons that accrete into a single mass.

Kageran is on a batholith from the Arsae colliding west into Treveriane. The subducted plate, the Arsae, released volatiles under the Treveriane that caused igneous intrusions not far from the boundary. Some time later, the subduction largely stopped and the two plates stuck together. Erosion has begun baring the deep granite, but there is still a thick layer of oceanic sediment from when the Arsae was underwater.

Hector and the Fairy Godbear

“That’s it!” yelled Mom. She forgot she wasn’t yelling. “You’re grounded. All of you. For two weeks!”

“No!” we cried.

I couldn’t be grounded. I needed to go outside! It wasn’t even my fault.

But Dad looked at Mom and said, “You’re really taking one for the team here, aren’t you?”

Mom blinked at him, and then she squinted.

Dad said, “Finals start on Monday. You’re locking the kids in here with us for two weeks during finals. I support you no matter what, but I give Scantron tests and you give essays.”

Mom stopped squinting as her eyes opened very wide. She turned a strange color of white and pink.

Dad turned to all of us. “Change of plan, kids. You’re banished on pain of death. No one is allowed inside between school and dinner for the next two weeks.”

No! I couldn’t be banished! If I had to stay outside, I’d die. It was cold. There could be bears.

Hector and the Fairy Godbear bit

“Do they have any weaknesses?” I asked the mystic ferret. “Are they scared of anything?”

“Yes,” said the mystic ferret. “They’re scared of being trapped in a burning house with a pack of hungry wolves while someone throws chainsaws at them.”

“Okay,” I said. “I have a plan.”

But everyone else said, “No.”

They didn’t even listen to my plan!