Merry Christmas Eve, all.
The Duel
Suppose you had to pick a muppet to fight to the death, but the muppet got to pick the contest.
So you might choose Animal, but Animal could then pick ‘cocaine’ as the contest and you would die.
I don’t know who I would go for. Maybe Fozzy? Like, he’s a bear but a little one.
Milton
The problem with Paradise Lost is that the devil asks people to eat apples, and we don’t relate to that as a temptation. Your doctor asks you to eat more apples. You say no.
If the serpent showed up and told Eve she’d look amazing in racing leathers forever and Adam about supercharged liter bikes, there would be falls from grace.
Especially if the bike had a 310 rear tire.
Now, I understand. A 310 rear is functionally unnecessary on a sport bike. Don’t do it, right?
You just reenacted Adam’s internal monologue before the fall.
You Boding, Brah?
For the first time ever, something boded well.
Celsius
The problem with Celsius as an energy drink is the flavors are too mild. Monster has flavors like Battery Acid and Actual F’king Leprosy, while Celsius has Insinuation of Kiwi and Tangerine Memories.
Literal Cave of Death
Hey, Gimli! If all your friends were going into a cave of death, would you go to?
Yes, Mom, yes I would! Because if I didn’t go into the cave of death, I’d never hear the end of it!
RotK
Today is the 20 year anniversary of Return of the King coming out.
Damn.
Horses
My stories get too much momentum behind them. I can’t turn them toward the plot points.
I don’t know if I even should.
But then they don’t go anywhere. They just spin in circles.
So, unrelated to everything, I really want to ride a horse.
5 Years From Now
Ghost in the Shell took place in 2029.
Things are swell
You know the quote, ‘I am therefore leaving immediately for Nepal where I intend to live as a goat’?
Where does one sign up for that?