Leibniz Clockwork

Dirtbike: Druid You are one with nature, you’re literally covered in nature, and you speak in badger.
Dual Sport: Ranger You can go anywhere, you’re weirdly obsessed with avoiding roads, and you smell like the druid.
Adventure: Paladin You can do most anything, but you’re not really good at anything either. Also, why are you covered in armor? This is a level one dungeon/gravel road. You don’t need all that armor.
Sport bike: Rogue You’re up to something. Stop it.
Naked: Barbarian You’re also up to something, but you’re not slick, you’re getting beaten up, and you claim to like it. Also, leave the sport bikes alone.
Scooter: Bard You think you’re sexy. You think you’re really, really sexy. You’ve told me about it nine times.
UJM: Fighter No one wakes up in the morning and wants one of these, but they’re half of every group.
Mini: Monk I know you’re light, quick, and highly efficient, but you’re only fun if the whole group is just like you.
Cruiser: Artificer Why are you covered in farkles, and why are you so noisy? No, I don’t want to see the thing. No, I don’t want to hear the thing. Please go away.
E-moto: Warlock Home charging is eldritch blast. It is the only reason anyone uses this build.
Trike: Wizard You’re the old guy in the group, but at least you’re still riding. You do you.
E-bike: Sorcerer Mechanically quieter than the cruiser but talks about their vehicle/character just as much.

Also, what’s going on with WotC?