Space DoD

1) Stealth in space is impossible.

2) All attempts at detection are successful in the aggregate if a target is there to be found. And an attempt at detection is made against every target.

1 and 2 are equivalent statements. If some detection attempts aren’t successful, stealth in space is possible. If some targets are not the subject of detection attempts, space stealth is possible.

Therefore, there can be no problems, ever, that reduce the effectiveness of space detection to less than 100%. If so, stealth in space would be possible, but there is no stealth in space.

Space detection is handled by Space DoD, and Space DoD is amazing.

Space DoD never misses maintenance. Space DoD never skips requirement upgrades. Space DoD ships are never in deep space, away from supply lines, long enough for battle damage to impair their space detectors. Space DoD ships never half-ass maintenance. Space DoD ships never take damage in space battles, or at least space damage never impairs their detectors.

Space ships away from drydock and supply always have all personnel fully trained for all repairs. All space lieutenants are fully trained and competent. All of them.

All space lieutenants reading space directions know how to correctly repair all battle damage. They are never wrong. If you’re unsure, just ask one. Every space lieutenant who passed her space repairs qualifying exam knows exactly what to do. She will never assert rank over more competent personnel. She will correctly make the repairs with supplies on hand, no matter how long the ship has been on patrol, no matter how far they are from resupply, no matter the nature of battle damage.

If a space detector is damaged, it will be repaired to spec immediately, before the enemy attempts stealth.

Enemies will never attack in quick succession. Enemies will never allow Space DoD forces to be damaged fighting other enemies, before swooping in to prey on the weakened Space DoD.

Space DoD will never adjust op tempo. Space DoD had op tempo correct initially. Space DoD will never get into infantile power struggles between personnel. The fly-in-circles-team will never fight the calibrate-space-detector-team. FICT will never fly their ships outside the correct flight envelope. Their ships will never interfere with detector callibration. No Space General will ever fight another Space General for resources.

Space DoD is never corrupt.

Space DoD will never give a contract to a space contractor incapable, unwilling, or untrained to perform contracted work. No space contractor will ever syphon funds from a Space Detection System contract to buy yachts. No space contractor ever got a job because his cousin knows a guy. No space contractor will ever bribe a space senator.

Space DoD is omniscient.

Space DoD knows the mechanical, electrical, quantum, relativistic, and ALL future scientific properties of all detectors. Space DoD will never discover something doesn’t work after sinking thirty billion space bucks into it. Space DoD will never budget first, fix later. Space elevators will always work when being installed. Space catapults will never have unintended side effects, not work as expected, or not work at all. Space DoD will never screw-up. Space DoD will never underbudget a mission critical system later because they screwed up before.

Space DoD is on point.

Space Congress will always correctly, accurately, and successfully fund a correct, working system with no side effects.

Space congressmen never pick one program over another, a less successful program over a more successful program, because the less successful one brings good jobs to their district. . No space congressman has ever signed off on woefully wrong legislation just to do something. Space senators will never grandstand their way into incompetent decisions. Space voters will carefully and rationally weigh each and every criteria, and then ALWAYS pick space detectors as the most important field. Space detectors will never lose funding to another program because a space senator grandstanded on space TV to get space twitter likes, screaming ‘Won’t somebody please think of the space children?’

No one ever thinks of the space children.

The companies that build or maintain space detectors always work in perfect unison.

No space company gets into a patent lawsuit with another space company in such a manner that affects a space detector. No space company ever insists on an space data transfer protocol that doesn’t work in every application. No space data transfer protocol ever fails to achieve perfect upgradability. No space data transfer protocol ever worked pretty well for a while, but is incompatible with the new system, but basically impossible to switch, and so now space DoD is trying to cram a square peg into a round space hole just to make it work. This never happens.

Space Microsoft never sues Space Amazon and then refuses to work until the lawsuit is concluded. There is never a time, during the lawsuit, wherein the space detectors are impaired.

The people who work on space detectors are infinitely motivated, energized, and healthy.

Space privates never slack off. Space privates are never injured. The space corpsman that takes care of them always knows how to cure every problem. When space enemies attack and the detector operators are dragged from their posts, someone else will ALWAYS man the space detector. An ‘All Hands On Deck’ call will never interfere with space detectors.

The only space detector operator will never get killed when the space ship is deep in enemy lines, and some cook with good space ASVABs won’t be dragooned into operating the space detector.

The space detector operator will never have girl problems, boy problems, foot problems, drug problems, money problems, diet problems, discipline problems, digestive problems, or even a bad case of space gas such that the detector is not operated perfectly.

The space detector will never just stop working because F* if I know why.

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