Hector and the Fairy Godbear

“That’s it!” yelled Mom. She forgot she wasn’t yelling. “You’re grounded. All of you. For two weeks!”

“No!” we cried.

I couldn’t be grounded. I needed to go outside! It wasn’t even my fault.

But Dad looked at Mom and said, “You’re really taking one for the team here, aren’t you?”

Mom blinked at him, and then she squinted.

Dad said, “Finals start on Monday. You’re locking the kids in here with us for two weeks during finals. I support you no matter what, but I give Scantron tests and you give essays.”

Mom stopped squinting as her eyes opened very wide. She turned a strange color of white and pink.

Dad turned to all of us. “Change of plan, kids. You’re banished on pain of death. No one is allowed inside between school and dinner for the next two weeks.”

No! I couldn’t be banished! If I had to stay outside, I’d die. It was cold. There could be bears.

Hector and the Fairy Godbear bit

“Do they have any weaknesses?” I asked the mystic ferret. “Are they scared of anything?”

“Yes,” said the mystic ferret. “They’re scared of being trapped in a burning house with a pack of hungry wolves while someone throws chainsaws at them.”

“Okay,” I said. “I have a plan.”

But everyone else said, “No.”

They didn’t even listen to my plan!

Hector and the Fairy Godbear

I really like writing the kids because I can get super melodramatic. It doesn’t come across as being absurd; it’s just childish.

The narrator is now six.

I have had people complain the children are too childish.

“Mr Miller, these kids need to calm down!”

“Sir/Ma’am, have you ever met an excited six-year-old?”

Intro to Hector and the Fairy Godbear

Hi! I’m Hector. My parents call me the Hs because I’m Hector Harmon, and my names start with Hs. This is the story of my fairy godbear. I wanted a fairy godmother because I wanted to her to grant my wishes, but I didn’t get wishes because I got a fairy godbear and he didn’t grant wishes. He tried to eat me. And I said, ‘Mr. Bear, don’t eat me!’ But he didn’t listen, because he was a bear.

You just can’t talk to bears. They’re very frustrating.